road to whole heartedness – day 4

Growing pains.

My hongsong is teething and it hurts. It hurts him, it hurts me, it hurts his dad. Not sure who it hurts the most, but oh my goodness, it hurts. Tonight he was having a blast in one of his favorite routines – his bath. He sat in his duck tub playing with a toy sitting in the warm water while I dribbled some water down his back. He started fussing and suddenly the fussing turned into full on wailing. I lifted him out thinking something was wrong but he cried even more. Put him back in since he loves the bath so much and thought maybe it was just a fussy thing. Continued to wail as tears were gushing down. It’s important to note that he is not a crier and so if/when he does cry, something is up. I wrapped him in his fox towel and cuddled with him as much as possible. I found one of his teething pacifiers and he slowly began to settle.

Growing pains.

It’s just part of life. I remember my youngest brother would suddenly cry at night and we would need to massage his legs because of growing pains. I would smile sadly because I knew his muscles were growing, his legs were growing, that he was growing. But it’s called pains for a reason. Part of growing, but it hurts. It aches to have an area of your life stretched to a new height.

Growing pains.

And I’m sitting here typing away with my carpel tunnel hands thinking about right now, a lot of my muscles hurt. My joints, my muscles, my body. But just as much so, my faith, my hope, my love. It seems as if with each season that I’ve encountered God in a new way, I then get hit with growing pains. He calls me to a deeper level of faith and encounter. He beckons me deeper into the sea where not only are my feet no longer touching the ground, but I also have no idea what else is in the water with me. He asks if I really know what “trust without borders” looks like and if I don’t know, He will show me. Hey, I sang the words and made it my prayer and here He is responding. Life has been non stop moving pieces for our little family. Everything has felt in flux in our lives from our home to our dogs to our jobs to ministry. And each movement seems to have a domino effect. I’ve enjoyed the transitions and I’ve enjoyed where I’m at when I suddenly start shrieking and wailing and asking God when things will settle; when will things feel grounded? This season He is building my trust muscles and I repent and even feel frustrated with how weak my trust truly is.  I’ve had enough trust to let go and embrace relationships, embrace love, embrace healing. But in this season He is asking me to let go with my eyes closed, embrace relationships with people I haven’t met yet, and embrace healing on a level that will overflow to everything and everyone around me. And I let the tears gush and I kick and stomp around because it hurts. It aches to have an area of your life stretched to a new height.

Growing pains.

And yet I know that with each passing season, spring is coming. Once I have new muscles, new strength, new heights I will be able to embrace and enjoy the spring to come in a way I never was able to before. I’ll be able to see with new eyes. I’ll have new heights in my bones that’ll allow me to grasp at the dreams that seemed impossible just yesterday. If I can just get through these growing pains.

Where are the areas that God is stretching you these days?

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